Human Chair :
Hello. What you are about to read will shock you. I need to confess the strange and terrible crime I have committed and I can’t bear to keep my secret any longer. I beg you not to stop reading.
For years, I have hidden myself away from the world. You see, I am hideously ugly… Too ugly to describe. You would be shocked and horrified at the sight of my face. I was a miserable and wretched creature, because I never knew love. I never felt the affectionate touch of a hand or the warm feeling of a pair of lips brushing against mine.
I was a carpenter by trade and I worked all day in a factory, making furniture. My specialty is making chairs. My skilled hands carved the wood, screwed the pieces together, fashioned the back-rests and arm-rests and did the upholstry, padding the cushions and sewing the covers. As I worked, I felt like an artist creating a great masterpiece.
When my chairs were finished, I would always test them out to make sure they were comfortable. It gave me a great thrill to imagine all the different people who would sit on the chair I created. Unlike me, they had wonderful, happy lives. They had someone they loved and who would love them back. Every time I thought of them, I felt nothing but misery and despair.
One day, I was designing a new type of chair and, as I worked, a very strange idea began to take form in my mind. I changed the design and made a hollow space inside. It was a cavity large enough to fit a human body. Of course, I had to take out a lot of the wooden framework and the springs inside.
The knees would be just below the seat, the head and upper body would be inside the back-rest. Someone could sit inside the chair and no one would ever know they were there. I left a small space for supplies, like food and drinks and I even included a little potty for pee and poo. By the time I was finished, the chair had become a miniature home.
I stripped off my clothes and climbed inside the chair. Can you imagine how strange that felt? It was a tight fit, but I managed to get used to it after a while. I was in complete darkness, but I could hear what was going on around me. I heard my colleagues walking around the factory, looking for me. They had no idea that I was right under their noses.
After a while, some delivery men loaded me into a truck and transported me to a furniture store. They put me on display in the middle of the shop floor and left me there. I was perfectly concealed and nobody was any the wiser. I was like a crab or a turtle, but instead of a shell, I had my chair.
Almost as soon as I arrived, customers started testing out the chair. I can’t tell you how many unknown bottoms sat down on me. Some of them had big, fat bottoms like a jellyfish and others had thin, bony bottoms like a skeleton. Some had firm buttocks like a horse and others had chubby buttocks, bouncing up and down on me like a rubber ball.
It was an amazing feeling. I could feel the warmth of their flesh through the material. Their shoulders rested against my chest and their arms and hands rested on mine. Not one of them suspected that the soft cushion they were sitting on was actually little old me.
Previously, because of my grotesque and disturbing appearance, people had always recoiled at the sight of me, but now my skin was virtually touching theirs through a thin layer of cloth. Hidden inside the chair, I imagined myself hugging them, kissing them and wrapping my arms around them in a passionate embrace.
Of course, it was a strange sort of existence. After spending so long inside the chair, sitting in the same position, my muscles started to wither away. I could barely move and my body was crooked and bent. I was folded up like a contortionist, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was the exquisite feeling of having people sit on me.
One day, somebody bought my chair. The delivery men picked me up, put me in the back of a van and brought me to the home of a nice family. They put me in their living room, facing the TV. Within days, every member of the family had sat on me at least once. I was in heaven.
But there was one member of the family I loved more than all of the others. This person was very special to me and, as time went on, I began to fall in love with them. I couldn’t help myself.
Whenever they sat down on me, I tried to make my knees as comfortable as possible for them. Whenever they leaned back on me, I would embrace them more warmly and make them nice and snug. When they felt tired, I would move my knees back and forth, gently rocking them to sleep.
You may think I was mad, but I was madly in love with this person. I became obsessed with them and I longed for them to return my feelings. I reached the point where I felt that if only they knew I was there, they would fall in love with me too.
The person loved to read, so I came up with a cunning plan. I wrote sown my story and submitted it to a website they frequented.
By now, you’ve probably guessed who I am talking about.
That’s right… It is you.
I have been in your home for so long, you’ve probably forgotten where I came from. Every night, I crawl out of the chair and sneak upstairs to watch you sleep. I can’t bear to be away from you for a moment. I love you and I think you could love me too… if only you saw me.
Now, after you finish reading this, please turn around and look at me. I’ll be waiting. Don’t be afraid. Come and sit down on my knees. I miss your touch.