I made a terrible mistake. I thought I was just paranoid, but now I know it’s following me. It’s never going to let me forget about one stupid mistake.
I’m not sure what “it” looks like. The only name I can call it is Karma. I thought it would protect me… I was wrong.
Let’s start from the beginning. There’s a rarely heard of ritual, called the Judgement of Karma. For reasons you’ll come to understand, I can’t describe the ritual in writing. It’s far too dangerous.
I was told of this ritual. The basic myth of it is, after you perform this simple ritual Karma will judge you. If it decides you are a truly good person, it shall make your life a paradise, otherwise… Well that’s why I’m writing.
It must’ve been a mistake. I really am a good person, or so I thought. I thought the ritual simply didn’t work but it became apparent fast that I was cursed. As soon as I finished the ritual and fled home I found my beloved dog had been sliced open and had been laid out in my bed. I prayed to gods I didn’t even believe in that this was the work of a regular human being.
So far, I haven’t been able to sleep in three days, regardless of how many sedatives I take. Every time I look out the window or at a mirror, in the corner of my eye I see a dark figure for a split second, then as soon as I try to focus on it, it disappears.
I hope writing this can help in some way. So far it’s at least calmed my nerves. Okay that’s enough writing for today.
I can’t go to sleep. When I sleep it plans to kill me in ways so terrible I can’t describe it. I almost fell asleep last night, my eyes were shut for 5 seconds. When I opened them I saw it! Karma was right in front of my eyes. It takes the form of a small boy with messy brown hair and wears poorly sewn together black rags from neck to toe. Also, it’s- or HIS mouth had been sewn shut for reasons I don’t want to know and he had a look of shock and hatred in his tiny green eyes.
As soon as I had looked up at him and had his image permanently scarred into my mind he seemed to disappear. Frightened, I noticed a sharp pain up and down the skin of my entire body. I rushed to the mirror and found bleeding scratches that appeared to be from human fingernails all over my abdomen, back and legs.
This is day five without sleep. To keep from falling into the trap of sleep I’ve been taking adrenal energy pills and getting lots of caffein. I’ve began to get tired so I’ve started the habit of making small cuts on my arm with the blade from a box cutter, each a centimeter from the previous one on on my forearm each time I dose off. So far there are 8 cuts.
I’ve been locked in my house ever since yesterday when I shopped for the supplies to keep me awake. If I go outside I might accidentally share my misfortune with others. As far as the legend goes, anybody who concerns themselves by learning what the results of my endeavor may become judged by Karma. That is why when I’ve finished writing I plan to burn my house down along with my computer, so what I’ve written can never come in contact with the Internet.
I hear somebody at the door…
I’ve lost track of day and night. Last night(I think it was last night) I duct taped all my doors and windows so he can’t watch me. I also took all the mirrors in my house and threw them into a large pile in the back yard before barricading my back door.
I got very tired today and the cuts that now cover my left forearm weren’t helping. So, I put an empty pan on the stove and kept the fire burning, then I took a butcher knife from my kitchen and sliced off the pinky toe from my left foot. Then I pressed the hot pan against the wound to stop the bleeding. This was a small sacrifice to keep my life.
He spoke to me. I can hear it whisper through the house. It speaks of a life before it was what it is. It was a tortured soul. At a very young age whoever was raising him began to torture him in awful ways. They would whip him and sew his mouth shut. Every time he would sleep they would beat him in new and more painful ways. To this day he seeks revenge on every person who deserves it.
I don’t know why he told me these things but I actually feel bad for that thing. That may be his point.
I’ve been awake for as long as I can remember. I’ve cut off all of my toes and the last three fingers on my left hand. I’ve burnt all the stumps to stop the bleeding, of course.
I found it difficult to cut off my left foot. It was probably the most painful thing I’ve ever felt, but at least I won’t sleep.
I’m shaking as I’m writing this. Fortunately, I’ve always obsessed over grammar so even that can’t stop my writing.
Recently, I noticed cuts along my lips that weren’t there before. I think he did it while I wasn’t paying attention. I think the worst thing about not sleeping is never having anything to focus on other than harming myself to stay awake…
I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without sleeping… I can’t believe it… I can’t believe it… This shouldn’t be medically possible.
I can’t stop seeing it everywhere I look. I keep hearing it scream from below me even though I don’t have a basement… But what’s new is, I hear somebody screaming threats back at it. It’s the voice of an adult, probably the person who put him through this.
I’m done. I’ve covered the floor of my house with lighter fluid. I wont give him the satisfaction of killing me. This is my final entry. When I finish writing this, I plan to burn my house down.
Psychiatric evaluation, Dr. Henry Rogue.
Patient suffers from an advanced state of psychosis and the worst case of insomnia I’ve ever seen. He has self inflicted wounds covering his left arm and has cut off his left foot, all of his toes on his right foot, and all of the fingers on his right hand. It would appear that this was brought on by very serious post traumatic stress disorder. His previous psychiatric files show that he was tortured as a child by his parents (which explained the aged whip lash scars on his abdomen, back and legs, and the scars on his lips from where they were once sewn up) until he was forced to kill them. He kept looking straight past me with those shocked green eyes of his and saying “Karma will make me pay.”
Personal note, Dr. Henry Rogue,
The patient’s computer was found in the wreckage of the fire. I’ve read over a file of entries he wrote during the course of his lack of sleep. The things I’ve found out have shocked me. I’m going to send the file to some colleagues of mine to help me decide what I should do.
PS: since reading that file, there have been disturbing coincidences happening to me. I’m afraid to sleep.