Breaking Sanity :
I look in the mirror and wonder, when did this happen to me. I had stared at what I had become for over an hour now. These dramatic changes to my body and mental state, all of it began a year ago when my sister was taken… by It.
It was a cold December night, I was 17, and my parents left me with my sister at her apartment so they could go to some Christmas adult party. Everything was going fine, my sister and I stayed up watching horror movies, which when I look back was pretty ironic. After a while I was getting bored and started messing with my hair.
“Will you just cut your damn hair already Tony? A guy’s hair is not meant to be that long anyway!”
“Screw you Tammy! It’s my hair; I’ll do what I want!” She never did like the fact that I grew out my hair freshman year. She always told me to cut it; she thought because she was two years older than me she could tell me what to do. I never held it against her though; she is my sister after all… or was. We stayed up until midnight, and that is when the end began for me.
At midnight the power went out in the middle of watching the original Evil Dead. At first we weren’t that freaked out about it. Then one of the neighbors’ dogs who never shut up suddenly stopped barking, followed by a faint whimper. At this point we were becoming concerned, and trying not to let our paranoia get the better of us. After several moments of dead silence we hear a racket from the kitchen, it makes us both jump. Of course it’s her stupid cat, Mittens. We awkwardly chuckled about it, then we heard a scream from down the hall which makes the hairs on our necks stand up, because it didn’t sound human. Then the lights started flickering on and off, becoming more rapid and rapid. Then the flickering became violent, and we heard whispers; I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it felt like they were looking for something, or someone.
We both started to panic, so we backed up into a corner, as far away from the door as we could. Then there came this… this sound, a ringing that just started to drill through my head. I held my ears trying to shut it out, but it didn’t help at all; it was like it was coming from the inside of my own head.
Then finally, we see an ominous shadow come from beneath the door, with the ringing noise seemingly getting louder. I did my best to hold in my searing pain, but it seemed like it was going to best me. Before I could find out, my sister was the first to crack as she let out a piercing scream. As she did so, the door flew off its’ hinges to reveal a man, a tall thin man who seemed to be in front of a blinding light.
As we stared at this man, the ringing had stopped, it was dead silent. As I looked at him, I could only see that his face was pale as the moon, the ringing was so aggravating it blurred my vision, and that light was so bright. Yet when we saw this man, he looked more of an entity, there was no way it was human. As it stood there in the doorway, staring at us, we were caught in awe. My sister stood up and moved toward the figure. I tried to reach to grab her, but I was in too much shock to move. The figure seemed to slide toward my sister with its arms outstretched, with the intent to embrace her. I’ll never forget what happened next at that moment.
One moment she was there, standing in front of the tall man, then came a flash of light… and she was gone… but It was still there. It stared at me as I was curled in fear in the corner from what I had witnessed. My vision cleared and I saw this thing had no… no face; no eyes, no mouth, no nose, nothing. After a short while I began to hear whispers again, and I knew where they were coming from, this creature. It continued still to ‘stare’ at me. As I looked back into its’ face, the ringing started coming back, but also something else; a feeling and this feeling enraged me.
Finally I could take it no longer, “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER!?” I screamed at it. “WHERE IS SHE?!?” but to no avail, it continued to just ‘stare’ as if it were intrigued by me. As it continued to do so, a terrible feeling was growing into my chest. It was becoming unbearable, “GIVE HER BACK TO ME!” I commanded it, but it continued to stare. All the while the feeling continued growing in my chest, the ringing getting louder, the lights began flickering again, whispers growing faster. I could not stand it anymore; I picked up a fallen lamp, and threw it at the tall thin man, an action I wish I could take back. As the lamp made contact with him, he immediately dissipated away, which seemed to have made all the lights in the room, and out in the hall short circuit. The ringing in my ears blows up, causing me to pass out.
The next thing I know, I wake up in an ER bedroom with my mother sleeping in a chair and surrounded by get well cards and balloons. My mother woke up around the same time my father had gotten there. They explained everything as best they could to me. The police had assumed a serial killer managed to cut the lights out in the apartment complex and kill all security cam feeds. Then he made his way to our floor, where the police found several mutilated bodies of people and a dog. In several of the victims’ rooms there was a circle shape on the walls filled in with a large X.
I had been out for 2 weeks following the incident, and I was the only survivor on the floor the serial killer had visited. My parents told me that police would want to interview me on what happened, and that they’d be here shortly. Until then I was to eat some breakfast, and try my best to rest, which was easier said than done. They also took my weight and height which was 150 lbs. and 5’ 8”.
As I was eating breakfast, I had a weird familiar sensation, that feeling groping my chest, as if something was trying to get out of me. I assumed I had to throw up, so I went to the restroom. As I stood there, in an ER bathroom, I stared myself in the mirror and noticed I was pretty pale. I was sick with what I saw too. All I could think about was how I let my sister be taken by that thing. After several minutes in the bathroom, I managed to throw up, although it didn’t really make me feel any better. In fact, I could almost hear those haunting whispers at the back of my head again, and a faint ringing.
As I was interviewed by the police, I told them everything I remembered. I told them about the thin man that did not seem at all human, and how my sister vanished in a blinding light. Of course they did not believe a distressed teenager, and recommended my parents take me to a therapist because I was showing signs of post traumatic stress. They did so, and the therapist I saw did her best to help me, I can’t remember her name. After a while I stopped trying to convince others of what I saw, they just refused to believe something unbelievable, as ironic as that sounds.
Life never moved on for me since then. I would always have these nightmares of that creature. I would dream I was in the apartment again, staring at the creature, screaming at it, only I wasn’t screaming what I said in the apartment. Instead I was asking it what are you, only to hear those haunting whispers digging into my brain. Every time I have that dream, I wake up sweating, go to the bathroom to wash my face, stare myself in the mirror and remember that God forsaken ringing.
3 months after my sister’s disappearance, I decided I was ready to go back to school, only I wasn’t ready. All my friends barely recognized me because I was becoming so pale. When lunch came around, I was almost always too depressed and disgusted with myself to even eat. I was talking less and less, and my friends were becoming concerned for me. I didn’t care though; I was becoming detached from the world around me.
Then came that awful day, that awful day I wish that had never came, but knew would. As I was sitting out in the halls during lunch by myself, the wind started to rustle. I didn’t pay much attention to it I was too busy writing in my journal, a method for relaxation my therapist told me to do. All of a sudden that vile ringing came back to me, and was giving me a migraine. I stood up to go get some water, but before I could do so I froze in place at what I saw. At the end of the hall peeking from behind a corner I saw him, the Slender Man, as the authorities started calling him.
Before I can properly register what I saw, I blink one time and that thing disappeared. I rub my eyes to make sure I’m not seeing things, and as I put my hands down, he is still nowhere to be seen. The ringing dies a little but is not completely gone, so I rush to the bathroom, turn on the faucets to wash my face. I tell myself, “It wasn’t real. He wasn’t there. He isn’t real.” As I continue the ringing starts to fade, and I turn off the water then dry my face with my shirt. When I finally manage to look up at the mirror, to my horror instead of seeing my pale sickly face, I see the Slender Man’s. I quickly jump back in shock, but as I take another look at the mirror I see that he is gone yet again.
The ringing came back excruciatingly loud, but it did not bother me, because that groping feeling in my chest had returned. In blind rage I broke the mirror screaming, “YOU”RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL!” sharp jagged pieces of the mirror fall to the floor, I pick one up, slash my hands and write this over and over on the walls. Several minutes later, one of my friends find me passed out; an ambulance is called for me.
Again I wake up in an ER bedroom, this time I was only out for a few days. I see the stitches on my hands and think crap. I tried getting up but losing so much blood made me woozy. After a while a psychiatrist came to diagnose me, I told him what I had seen and he brands me with schizophrenia. He also tells me that my hallucinogens are only as real as I let them be. The more I’m being told I’m crazy, the more I actually believe it. He was also concerned with my weight issue, I had apparently gone from a healthy 155 to an alarming 110, and I had the neglected physique to prove it, my ribs were beginning to show. On the bright side though, I had grown three inches, I just thought, whoop-dee fucking doo.
I stayed home for the rest of the school year, but that didn’t really help me much. I still wasn’t eating, and I was still seeing the Slender Man in my dreams and in real life. It came to a point where I was too scared to even sleep. When I did, it was still the same dream, only at that point when I wake up, I saw how distraught I was with everything going on. When I didn’t sleep, I’d see a figure out my window at the bus stop, at the street corner, or even on the patio. I knew it was him, no matter what anyone said at this point, I knew it was him.
It was the tenth month after the Slender Man took my sister. I was at home feeling sick again, and I had come down with a fever. It was extremely hot for some reason; I thought maybe the A/C was off. Shortly enough, I got that feeling in my chest again, so I run into the bathroom to throw up. I’m there for several minutes and nothing comes out, but the feeling just became more intense, and it seemed like it was getting hotter. I look in the mirror, I barely noticed the ringing that’s been there since the feeling came, and it causes me to become agitated. I finally can’t take the heat anymore; I open the mirror cabinet and get out my dad’s shaver. I turn it on and let it loose on my sweat soaked hair. It doesn’t make it anything better, the feeling stayed with me.
A few days after, it was the annual height measurement my mom would do with my sister and me; I couldn’t believe she actually wanted to do this. When I looked in her eyes though, I could see that she needed to do this, to help her get through the pain she’s been in… the pain we’ve both been in. As distasteful as it was at this time, I complied; when she lit up at seeing I was now 6’2” it was almost worth the painful memories brought back up. I know she meant well though.
Now it’s been a full year since Slender Man took her from me. Last night… was my last night of sleep. After having the same dream for the umpteenth time, I finally understood those haunting whispers from that day. As I look in the mirror today on the anniversary of my sisters ‘death’ I do not hear ringing… I hear the laughter of children.
Today we went to a memorial service in honor of my sister. As I looked at my suit and red tie, my mother comes in to my petty visage. The only compliment she could give was how remarkably tall I had gotten in the past year, but I could see the pain in her eyes. Not only did she lose one child, but she was losing another to depression and insanity. I was pale as ash and as thin as a skeleton at this point.
As I returned to the bathroom one final time to look myself in the mirror, I hear the laughs of my sister and what I see in the mirror horrifies me. I go back in the room and get out a piece of paper and a pencil to write down what the whispers said to me. I’m doing this because I’m tired and because… because I don’t think I’m waking up… hopefully I’m going to go be with my sister. I understand now that on that night, when the Slender Man took my sister… it did something to me… it chose me and… and I want people to know what it told me… before… before I lose myself.
WE WERE CONCEIVED BY THE SINS OF MAN,
BORN IN THEIR ANGER AND HATRED,
GIVEN SHAPE BY THEIR FEARS AND PARANOIA…